Today marks the fifth anniversary of the last time I did coke. It is a very important day for me. I still have an intense want and craving for it. I am hoping that as the years pass, that the want and craving will subside even more.
I am not even close to the person I was five years ago and I am so proud of that. I was so unbelievably selfish then, so mean, vindictive, and I hated myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me. Most of those things have changed now. I am still selfish at times and I still have a large amount of hate towards myself, but I am getting better.
My struggle with addiction and the addictions that so many people around me have faced, is the reason why I have chosen to become a psychologist with a concentration in addictions. I want to be able to help anyone through difficult times that are to come, once they are ready to let the grip of the addiction go. My heart breaks for everyone who struggles with addiction, no matter what the addiction is to.